Hey Books... Give Me A Break

Last night I got home and cracked a new book. If you’re into late 17th century Icelandic social satire, it came very highly recommended by a few family members over Thanksgiving so I’m going to recommend it as well. There are some difficult Icelandic names that I just skip over (there’s a key on how to pronounce all the extra Icelandic letters in the beginning, which I also skipped because I’m here for an entertaining tale and not to learn a new language) but thus far the story is quite entertaining.

However, upon reaching the third chapter I noticed something harrowing: the book does not provide the typical half page respite upon completing a chapter. That is BULLSHIT. What is the point of reading if I don’t get a break from reading every once in a while? I know it all comes out in the wash and if you give those half page breaks then it just means the book is gonna be longer, but I don’t care, I need my reward for being a big boy and finishing a chapter. I need a treat. I need a Twitter break and and perhaps an episode of The Office break. If there’s no rest then what is the point of even finishing a chapter? You just keep reading? To hell with that, I need my prize for being a big boy.

Also, if you’re going to say “humble brag you read” like 15,000 people did on Twitter last night, you’re incredibly unoriginal and should probably read more to work on that.